answer like a pro

“I don’t want to talk about death—it’s too depressing.”

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“‘Talk about death? No thanks, that’s too heavy.’ Here’s how to respond with sensitivity.”

Talking about death means talking about protection, dignity… and love

It’s natural to want to avoid discussions about death. For many, it’s a heavy, anxiety-inducing, even taboo subject. The phrase “I don’t want to talk about death—it’s too depressing” often comes up in conversations between financial planners and their clients. Yet avoiding the topic doesn’t make it any less real—it only makes it harder to deal with when it happens.

Talking about death in a financial planning context isn’t about resigning yourself to the inevitable—it’s about preparing the living, protecting your loved ones, preserving your wishes, and, above all, sparing your family the financial and emotional turmoil that comes from a lack of planning.

1. Avoiding the topic: a natural psychological mechanism… but a risky one

In psychology, this is called adaptive avoidance: when a topic makes us uncomfortable, we prefer to ignore it. Talking about death can stir up deep fears—of the unknown, of losing control, of grief. It’s human.

But in the financial world, not making a decision is still a decision. When you don’t plan for what will happen after your death, laws, courts, and institutions make those decisions for you.

As financial planner Hélène Belleau summarizes it: “Not talking about death is giving others the right to decide for us in a moment of vulnerability.” (Institut national de la recherche scientifique, 2020)

2. Talking about death means protecting the ones you love

Planning for death is not a selfish act. It’s a gift to those who remain. It allows you to:
  • avoid conflicts between children or heirs;
  • spare a spouse from financial uncertainty;
  • cover immediate expenses (funeral costs, debts, final taxes);
  • protect a minor or disabled child;
  • ensure that your wishes are respected (will, power of attorney, mandates).
In 2022, more than 50% of Canadians still did not have a valid will, according to a LegalWills survey. Yet dying without a will can lead to delays, high legal costs, and decisions that don’t align with the deceased’s true intentions.

3. A conversation that changes tone depending on how it’s approached

Talking about death doesn’t have to be morbid. In planning, we’re not talking about death — we’re talking about:
  • family continuity,
  • the transmission of values,
  • estate organization,
  • tax optimization,
  • thoughtful preparation.
The tone of these conversations can be soothing, structured, and positive. It’s about ensuring that the fruits of a lifetime are used wisely, that children are cared for, and that debts don’t become a burden.

A good advisor doesn’t talk to you about cemeteries or urns — they talk about clarity, dignity, and peace of mind.

4. Life insurance and legal documents: tools, not reminders of death

Taking out life insurance, writing a will, appointing an executor, or updating your beneficiaries are not morbid actions. They are acts of foresight.
  • Life insurance helps replace income, pay off a mortgage, support children, or fund education.
  • A will allows matters to be settled without conflict, helps avoid delays, and optimizes estate-related taxes.
  • A protection mandate safeguards your autonomy if you become incapacitated.
These steps don’t take years off your life — they give you back years of peace of mind.

5. Putting control back in your hands

Estate planning isn’t about predicting the future—it’s an act of sovereignty. It’s saying: “I decide what will happen to my family, my assets, and my responsibilities. I won’t leave them with a burden.”

Families who plan ahead experience their grief with greater peace. Those who haven’t must make painful decisions in confusion. Talking about death today is giving the gift of relief tomorrow.

In conclusion

Yes, talking about death may seem depressing. But in reality, it’s one of the most human, generous, and liberating conversations you can have. It’s not a conversation about death.

It’s a conversation about the lives of others — after you.

Sources :

  • Institut national de la recherche scientifique (INRS), Studies on Estate Planning, 2020.
  • LegalWills.ca, Survey on Will Preparation in Canada, 2022.
  • Retraite Québec, Protection Mandate and Will, 2023.